Thursday, November 24, 2005

Birthdays and Holidays

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone.. My son turned 5 on Nov. 22.
Time marches on, and the shopping season esp.(Black Friday) begins.
Soon the time will come for those to hustle and bustle about... buying material things for family you either soo too much of or not enough. My view is always a little bleak around the holdidays. I am getting older. My son is 5! Where does the time go? I start thinking about the past year, who I've lost. Not only did I lose my aunt angela last year, (in feb) , I lost her husband and my once best friend (both in feb). My friend was 26. On top of that, my grandma having strokes , not having a place to live and moving in with us in a very cramped apt.
She is moving into some senior apartments soon. She insists she has to be on her own.. alone. Even tho I would love my bedroom back, I love my grandma even tho she does drive me nuts and treats me like I'm 5, I worry about how she will really be able to deal with it. So yea, the past couple years of birthdays and holidays haven't been so great. However thats when I keep reminding myself how bad others have it. No matter what I have been through, others have gone through it too and worse. I have a home.. some do not. I have a compter, tv, some do not. I may not always get what I want, but then others NEVER get what they want. As crappy as my life is sometimes, I try to cherish it. I beg God to give me strength. I have to do this each day. Other wise, I start to fall into self'-pity again. I don't know how things will be the next year or in 2 or in 5 or so on. I do know it won't always be like this. It can't, otherwise.. I don't even want to think about that. I have my son. I adore and cherish the little moments because in the end, that is all we have and how we affect our children.
So bring on the Birthdays and Holidays. We won't have them for very long.

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